Archive

Posts Tagged ‘marriage therapy’

Can a marriage counselor help

September 5th, 2009
Comments Off

One of the problems that is hardest to deal with is when someone experiences marriage problems. It can affect many things.Your job, your children, and even your health.It causes such powerful reactions emotionally it comes as no shock.

A lot of times things like this don’t just happen.Problems that occur in marriage usually start and then begin to grow.It is when it is in early stages like this when you want to stop it.  From my experience doing marriage counseling in San Diego I know it first hand.The relationships where you see it is most difficult to fix are the ones where the couple waited too long to find a way to fix it. 

So hopefully I can show you the value of dealing with it early.Don’t take too long in dealing with it because then the anger and resentment can get too big.  Stop it early.

So I would like to offer some things to look for that would suggest a need for a San Diego marriage therapist.

There are a lot of reasons that relationships start to sour.It could be money problems.  It could be not communicating.Whatever the situation could be you need to be able to recognize it right when it starts. 

Take finances for example, if that is one of the reasons a couple starts to argue, that is not a good sign.Yes your money situation is important, but when you start to fight it doesn’t help.And if you see yourselves getting into fights over it, you have to get help.  As a family counselor in San Diego I have seen couples wait too long.

Sometimes for some unknown reason the couple finds themselves not able to communicate well.There are a lot of causes of this.But if you see this problem happening, you need to do something about it. Not being able to communicate well leads to many problems.  It can cause small problems to get bigger.But if you sense that there isn’t good communication between the two of you, it could be time. 

Not being able to communicate makes small problems seem  bigger.But when you have a counselor a couple might be able to learn how to communicate.They could learn some techniques that will teach them how to listen better.

Doing these few steps can avert a big marriage problem.Doing a little bit of preventitive measures can help in a lot of ways.

melkay Current Events , , , ,

What you can do when your relationship falters

September 3rd, 2009
Comments Off

One of the best things we get to experience in our lives is relationships.  From experiencing family relationships to love relationships it is wonderful.But a few times good relationships can turn bad.What was once considered something of great joy and happiness is now a source of pain and heartache.

I have seen this first hand helping people in couples counseling San Diego. What used to be a great loving relationship turns into a constant battle.What once looked so beautiful and promising now has a very grim outlook.  What happened and what can be done to change it?

That is a big question and hard question to answer.  Every relationship struggle is different.  But my experience as a marriage counselor San Diego has shown me there are methods you can use to bring out good solutions.

One of the things that is helpful to them is by giving them a safe place to talk.  A lot of times trying to deal with their struggles at home just doesn’t work.  By giving them a place where they can feel safe allows the opportunity to work things out.

Another benefit for the couple is that extra person will be another ear to hear them out.But not just any old ear but an ear that will listen and be impartial.  An ear that will listen to the issues and address them impartially.Accomplishing that can work miracles.That third person can mean the difference because they can approach the issue without being heated.When a couple attempts to do it while they are in the midst of fighting it won’t work at that time.

One more thing that can help the couple is teaching them how to effectively listen to one another.  In my practice doing marriage counseling San Diego, I help them develop these skills.These skills are beneficial in helping them listen to one another rather than always attempting to be the winner in an argument.

In doing this, they are really in a position to face the issue head on. Accomplishing these few tasks can work wonders in a troubled relationship.  I have seen it first hand as a marriage counselor.

melkay Current Events , , , , , ,

Tips on Marriage Counseling

August 7th, 2009
Comments Off

Marriage is often called the sacred union.  As it should be.Because when the new married couple says “I do” what they are saying is they will be together till death do them part.Even when times get bad, during sickness and poorer.

Notice I left out the health and richer part.  Because often times, those times are the easy.

But whatever the situation, if you are having marriage troubles, keeping the marriage healthy and happy does become a struggle.  It is during this time a family therapist San Diego might be the best option.

Because if the issues start to become a pattern, this will more often than not lead to divorce.  Problems such as fighting, not trusting, no intimacy, despising each other, etc.

When things like that do start happening, the best single thing a couple can do is seek a marriage therapist.  why?Because even though it doesn’t feel like it is to the couple, most therapists have seen everything.And from that experience is what they use to help those marriages in trouble.

So how come marriage counseling works?  Well I would like to share some insights from my experience as a San Diego marriage therapist.

Several factors beginning with safety.A good therapist provides the couple that is in trouble a safe environment then what they are used to.An environment that they are not used to where they have their fights.

This will help prevent and stop the outbursts of anger and hysteria that happens in a familiar environment.

Second, as mentioned before, they have experience.This presents an opportunity for the therapist to share with the couple his experience of whether what they are going through is normal.

Third, they can help with communications.Often that is one of the huge reasons for a troubled marriage.When troubles start to happen, the husband and wife will become defensive and communications at that point becomes difficult.The therapist can help in making sure those lines are open.

Fourth, they will be helpful to the couples in regards to problem solving skills.  Obviously, there are problems.And the more prepared the husband and wife is, the easier it will be to solve their differences.

Finally, they can help the couple to understand the situation.They accomplish this by helping them listen better, share their feelings better, and then help them interpret it all.

As you can see, when the marriage is in trouble, the best way to save it is through therapy.If you do find your situation is similar to this, go seek some help.  Take it from my experience doing marriage counseling San Diego.

melkay Current Events , , ,

When is the right time for Marriage Counseling?

July 29th, 2009
Comments Off

In a perfect world, after a couple says “I do” they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, a perfect world we do not live in. And a lot of times, after the wedding day, that is when trouble happens.

Whatever the cause, the couple’s happy and blissful relationship all of a sudden turns cold and bitter.

In this article, I am going to draw on my experience as a family counselor San Diego to help a couple decide, when is it time for a couple to seek marriage counseling.

Disagreements, arguments, and fights happen.In most marriages it is very likely to happen.  But there comes a time when a couple needs to decide if it is normal everyday life.  Or if is too much and time to seek help.

Because a problem in a marriage, left unchecked, could one day lead to a horrible divorce.

So for couples seeking to keep their marriage, here are some key signs to look for and decide if marriage counseling San Diego is needed.

The first sign is do you guys bicker?Do insignificant things cause arguments? Although seemingly insignificant, this could be the start of something that turns bigger.

Second, do you find you don’t have anything nice to say about each other? This shows you that you two are holding contempt for each other and that is not beneficial.

A third thing is do you find that your level of respect for each other is not there?In every relationship, the couple must respect each other.

Fourth sign, do you find a loss of intimacy with each other?  This is not just for sex, although this is part of it.Does is seem like the two of you aren’t as close as you once were?

Fifth, are you happier when your spouse is not around?  This is  not a good sign and is the beginning of the separation.

Sixth thing to look at have you lost trust of one another? One of the most important things for a married couple is trust.When you are living and sharing your intimate moments you have to have trust.

Finally, has there been some infidelity with one of you?  This seems simple and obvious.Unfortunately, some of the times when this happens, some couples ignore it rather than try to face it.

Of course there are plenty of other signs.  But these are some big ones when deciding if it is time to seek a marriage counselor in San Diego

If you see yourself in these circumstances, and to save your marriage is what you desire.You have to look for professional advice so you can find a way to work out these issues.

Often times, a third viewpoint can help immensely and that is where a family counselor can help.

melkay Current Events , , ,